If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
