My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
