i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
