a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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