Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
