Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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