If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
