yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
