last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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