His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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