I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
