I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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