booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
