Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
