Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
