Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
