...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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