Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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