Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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