Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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