I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
