I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize