We're facebook friends in real life
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know her cup size but not her name....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
