you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
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YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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