Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Randomize
