My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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