What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
