How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
