shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
