Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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