and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
