One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
