Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
