your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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