Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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