My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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