Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
