sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You made out with two different species that night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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