sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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