I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
