Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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