i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yo dont text me then not text me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
