dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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