i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
