I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
