Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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