I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
