Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
