ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize