Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize