Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
