whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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