are you so shy because you have an std?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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