You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
