oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
