I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need to calm my uterus...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
