i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
