dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
