the new term for farting is butt boxing.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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