put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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