So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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