I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
