Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
