Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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