I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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