Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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