I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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