I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
