On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
