So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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