This is not my ceiling
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
