im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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