Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
