Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
